Salma Hayek Respects Summer, Vols Fan Sara Blake Cheek Analyzes SEC, Plus Clay & Lara Travis Dressed Up In Milwaukee

by Joe Kinsey August 24, 2023, 9:08 amupdated August 25, 2023, 3:56 pm 1 Comment

Sensing a horrible vibe on the Internet where guys aren’t really excited for the college football season, I put on my thinking cap and determined that there was one woman who could come in here like she was shot out of a cannon to spice things up as we head into the first weekend of college football.

In true Screencaps/Kinsey Content Fashion, I don’t want to hear from the same talking heads who ramble. I want to talk to the Playboy models. The Instagram models. The Content Queens of our Time.

Way back when she wasn’t all prudish, I used to do a bit where Michelle Beadle was in an NFL Pick ‘Em against Playboy models. Beadle, who was a blast, would send me her picks. I would have to harass (gently remind) the Playboy models to send in their picks. The premise was simple: “Is Michelle Beadle Smarter Than A Playboy Model (with NFL Picks)?”

It was a ton of work, but it was fun. It was crazy. It was great for the Internet. Then, I’m not sure when it happened exactly, but the Internet started getting uptight. Beadle got way uptight. She got filthy rich and went off to save the world.

Now it’s my duty to bring back the vibe. To bring back the fun. The salacious. Balls to the walls, boys.

We start with Friend of the Program and Vols’ superfan Sara Blake Cheek. Those of you with a social media pulse know that Sara has dominated the landscape the last couple of years. You know that she’s great for a quote. Her Coach Cal quotes in 2021 sent shockwaves across the south.

All I do is slide into her DMs and BOOM, it’s like a rocket going off. She proves why she’s a titan of the industry.

This week, I asked Sara to analyze the 2023 SEC season. Buckle up.

• Sara writes:

In a year where LSU’s athletic department is dominating, their football coaches and recruiting girls are dominating in the sheets. People are predicting Georgia to do a 3-peat but unless Brock Bowers is gonna play QB that ain’t gonna happen.

Again we have to deal with the Spencer hype train coming out of Columbia, calm down cock fans he threw six TD’s against a secondary of second and third-stringers.

While we are talking about trains, let’s talk about the Lane train and how he showed up to media days looking like he just ran a train on somebody. Maybe he has a future on staff at LSU.

You Kentucky fans can get excited though, congratulations you have a real quarterback this year so have fun in the Music City Bowl.

While we are talking about QBs let’s talk about what the quarterbacks at Florida are doing this off-season, oh wait, let’s not. Jeremy Pruitt is back in high school where he belongs, Butch Jones is at Arkansas St where he belongs, and Mr. Freeze is back in the SEC so look out Alabama and women ages 18-22.

Sam Pittman sang with Foreigner because he is the real-life jukebox hero.

Vandy is Vandy so they won’t make a bowl game.

And Eli will be fired at MISSOURI, never seen a person try so hard to be cool in my entire life. Expect Jimbo to underachieve with all that talent again, and finally, they start calling for his head.

Lil Nicky has a bounce-back year as the beneficiary of all their tough games being at home, but after this year he needs to retire and become Miss Terry’s full-time house bitch.

Now onto my beloved Vols, like I said last year, If Hendon Hooker stays healthy we could go 11-1 and steal one from Bama or Georgia.

This year my prediction is the same with a much-improved defense, a strong run game, and a wide receiver core that may be better than last seasons, the Vols win at least 10 regular season games.

Heupel is sure looking like the sexiest coach of the SEC this year because winning is sexy.

Good morning!! 💋 pic.twitter.com/Xyd8XUiPKZ

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Kinsey:

If you’re not already, go follow Sara on Twitter. I think her Instagram was deleted by Zuck. Talk football. Talk s–t about her Vols. Mix it up a little bit this NFL season. Have fun.

Hey Sam’s Club, how about not torturing the kids until AFTER September 23. Disgusting.

SAMS Club with the child abuse….Forcing these kids to wish away the summer. #NotuntilSept23@JoeKinseyexp pic.twitter.com/BtlQRUssWi

• Eddie from Acworth is vowing to Respect Summer:

In regards to not starting Fall til Sept 23-

I agree Fall is not here yet-and pretending like it is is stupid-it is still getting to 99 down here-so yes–please stick your pumpkin latte bs up your arse-

I would say, however, your date has to be flexible-some years down here Fall doesn’t start til mid or late October.

Two caveats for Fall:

1-The SEC has begun SEC play (in my case that will be when USCjr plays my Dawgs)

AND 2:

It MUST be hoodie weather (long-sleeve-shorts are fine). Hoodie weather is NOT wearing a hoodie in the morning because it is chilly- then taking it off at 12 because it is hot-you MUST be able to wear it ALL DAY. So setting a date imo is impossible.

BTW bloody Marys are only good in the mornings in the FALL.

Lastly in regard to listening to the cicadas-I too love to do that-and we see them at our place in the morning laying all over the ground half dead-until you kick them and they buzz off. This used to not bother me until we watched the show From on MGM+ (yes another network to buy). I will not give anything away-but let’s just say cicadas will creep you the eff out after watching that. HIGHLY recommend From-think Lost before it jumped the shark-but it’s creepier and scary as hell-but it is absolutely not for young kids.

DAWGS start in 9 days for the threepeat and the Braves are kicking ass and have the best record in the MLB. Eat it Mets.

GOOD DOGGONE TIMES-and Fall is AROUND THE CORNER.

• John L. is taking the pledge, plus he has his own Respect Summer pledges. Love it:

I will not close storm windows until AFTER September 23rd.

I will not start up the furnace (for those with oil burners) until AFTER September 23rd.

I will not service the snow blower until AFTER September 23rd.

I will not rake leaves until AFTER September 23rd.

I will not switch my TNML attire from shorts to pants until AFTER September 23rd.

I will not book a winter time vacation until AFTER September 23rd.

Kinsey:

Yes on the furnace pledge. Isn’t happening. If you’re cold, use a space heater. The winter vacation thing is a miss by John L. You have to jump on those vacation deals when they pop up. I can’t take that pledge.

• Jeff B. in Colorado writes:

While I’m on board with the concept of Respect Summer, I do have to object to the Oktoberfest beers restriction, since Oktoberfest officially begins September 16.

Kinsey:

I told Jeff the pledge about not talking about Oktoberfest beers doesn’t mean you can’t slam Oktoberfest beers.

Jeff replied:

Right, I get that, but if I go to my local brewery on the 16th and try their Marzen for the year, I can’t tell my pals about it for a week?

Gotta call a foul on that one, amigo.

Kinsey:

It doesn’t sound like Jeff’s ready to take the pledge. He’s an equinox cheater.

• Matt in Nashville echoes what I’m hearing from too many people in the south:

A few notes on the RESPECT SUMMER Pledge:

• There can’t be a hard date involved. Summer ends (and begins) at different points for people based on geography. It may pain you to hear this, but when you’re putting on your hoodie and raking leaves (more on these below) my family will still be jumping in the pool and chasing down the ice cream truck for a bomb pop.

• As mentioned, events determine the season. When you first look out at your Stripes ™ and realize you need to rake/blow, that signifies Fall (after all, it’s called Fall because that’s when the leaves fall). Other events include the first time you wear jeans, a hoodie, or plaid out of necessity, when eating soup/chili actually *feels* good, when you (really your wife/kids) need a blanket by the fire or at the Friday Night Lights game. Also, Homecoming games regardless of level of football or location, among others.

• All that said, when Fall hits, you just know. It’s almost intuitive, but it’s important because it’s the accumulation of the experiences listed above. When it’s a *little* too chilly to jump in the pool, when the Summer clothes are either on heavy discount or completely gone from every store (not just the ones that are overly seasonally ambitious), when the high school football players start wearing sleeves under their jerseys.

• In some parts of the country, this might be Labor Day. In others, it might be closer to Halloween. Either way, the important part is the substance of the Pledge, not the timing.

This is a fun discussion. I look forward to hearing from the SC Community.

Kinsey:

Actually, Matt, Mother Nature determined the autumnal equinox is September 23. I didn’t come up with this arbitrarily. Who am I to argue with Mother Nature? And I’ll also have you know that typically it’s in the upper 80s in this part of Ohio in late September. I have the Facebook Memories® to prove it.

Respect the seasons, Matt.

• Mark W. in Franklin, TN writes:

I met a client for breakfast at Cracker Barrel three weeks ago and they already had a massive Christmas display on one side of the store and a fall/Halloween display on the other side. The heat index was over 100. Summer in Tennessee is going to make you respect its dominance until late fall no matter how badly you wish that glorious season was here.

My “respect Summer” pledge is as follows:

• Steve B. in Grand Junction, CO is ready to take the pledge:

I will continue to look at the Colorado Rockies box score, even though they have been out of the playoff hunt since Memorial Day.

I won’t even think about winterizing the swamp cooler until it runs the risk of having the water line freeze.

I will not accept a co-worker’s free zucchini until September 23rd.

• John from SD writes:

How about no long sleeve Ts before September 23? Keep them in the drawer/closet. My wife broke #4, made chili during the all day tropical storm on Sunday and pre season football was on. Do I get a pass since the pledge wasn’t in place yet?

Went to Costco today after work and had this by my car when I came out. Don’t see any nicks! You can’t beat Costco beer and liquor prices (not an endorsement).

• Brian B. in Suburban Atlanta writes:

Regarding mortgage rates – I am in the industry as a mortgage lender. The consensus is that the rates will drop over the next year to mid 5’s and possibly upper 4’s in 2025.

We currently have a number of consumers sitting on the sidelines due to rates. They don’t want to move due to higher rates, higher taxes, higher insurance rates. Most of those folks also have a good bit of equity to use for the next purchase. Once the rates drop we will see them get into the game and more than likely a sellers market – maybe not like 2020,21 but definitely in favor of the sellers.

Also even though rates are around 7.5% now they are still historically low. The average rate over the last 40-50 years is 8.6%. The last 10 years have skewed some people’s sense of what rates should be.

Love the column – keep it up! I look forward to hearing from a broad cross-section of America daily.

Kinsey follow-up question:

“Would you say the rates are low considering the price level of homes compared to income and the inflation the consumer is feeling in other spending departments?”

Brian fired back:

Good question. I would not. They are high because the markets think inflation is still high. Once inflation begins to slow down the rates will begin to drop. Home prices were driven up because the rates were extremely low in 2020-2022. We had more consumers that would qualify and many were moving up and overpaying for homes. They had equity from their sale and used it to upgrade. Now fewer qualify – partly due to rates but also inflation in taxes and insurance. Once more qualify (from rates dropping) we will see more sales and refinances.

• Donald J. writes:

On the night time taking a leak subject.

What do all the folks do that are hooked up to CPAP machines? Do you need a light to unhook yourself or do you take the machine with you to do your business?

Most look like jet fighter pilot masks. Gosh, seems like every other person that I talk to has to use one of these machines. Are these sleep disorders a national epidemic or are the companies and doctors hooked up together? Maybe a government conspiracy?

We are an over-medicated nation. Curious what the readers think about it.

Kinsey:

I went to the text group for answers.

• Eddie from Acworth emailed me again last night:

How you know you married up. I’m watching the Braves. Looked out and this was happening.

Her call.

What an edition. The perfect level of reader participation. The perfect level of fun, deep-thinking and content to get you going in the morning. Let’s keep the train rolling right into the football season. This should serve as the blueprint for what I want to accomplish over the next six months.

Have a great one at work.

Email: [email protected]

Decided to take a look at hotel rates for Super Bowl weekend in Las Vegas. Went with the cheapest rate at the Golden Nugget to save a few bones:4 nights$1,463 before 13% tax and a $38 resort fee per day. Comes out to about $460/day.Think I'll sit this one out.

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The most real TikTok screenshot. pic.twitter.com/5FWOGZ2xj0

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This helmet collector has an insane collection with over 2,000 helmets in his Nevada home. 😳 He is 77 and has been collecting for over 50 years. More photos to follow in linked tweets below. pic.twitter.com/yVPoev6V9j

Throwback to the Battle of Bristol – when Tennessee and Virginia Tech met to play football at Bristol Motor Speedway.There have been other mashups in sports, what are your favorites?What sports would you like to see played at different venues perhaps not meant for the sport? pic.twitter.com/h7YWMCccK5

1 PM Saturday September 2nd.OU-Arkansas State kicks off at 11 AM.#Sooners pic.twitter.com/zImAQUfHCL

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This is one of the craziest stats I've seen.There's a reason Aaron Judge is being paid $40,000,000 a year. pic.twitter.com/MvRRYNe3Ug

They ain’t have to do bro like that with the replay lmao pic.twitter.com/DJe1dKfOqR

Can @Ellylacocoa18 score from first in under 10 seconds? 👀 pic.twitter.com/RXZBKIGhCw

It’s pretty amazing that Shohei was still talking with the rookies and being jovial with a UCL tear.Hope he heals up and is able to pitch again. pic.twitter.com/gaSXQTi5wv

We've lost the greatest. Terry Funk was a chameleon in the ring. He could be serious, funny, dangerous, devious, your friend, your favorite's enemy. He could engage any crowd and command every situation. If you saw him work, you were in the presence of greatness. Rest in peace. pic.twitter.com/ShH35rodPU

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Lol pic.twitter.com/Wyn9idqB0e

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What's your brand? pic.twitter.com/sDH3gCr640

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Vegas update: The ceilings at Harrah’s have collapsed from the rain. pic.twitter.com/Y3QosG2jCa

Q: What’s the most Texas thing you could ever do?A: Have a Texas shaped indoor poolThis one is in Royse City, TX and is on 4.98 acres and is currently listed for $1,400,000 pic.twitter.com/duDdMBQAYl

Awesome video of a mountain lion crossing Eagle River in Gypsum courtesy of Vail 4×4 Tours guide. Remember if you see mountain lion:☑️ Do not approach☑️ Stay calm☑️ Stop or back away slowly☑️ Make yourself look larger☑️ Fight back if it attacksAnd yes they can swim! pic.twitter.com/aLcEBcNVIC

Cincinnati AG Specialist inspected cargo arriving as Grilled Chopped Fish. CBP uncovered Mylar bags labeled Squid. They contained 2lbs eggplant, 2lbs seaweed wrapped sausages, 11lbs unknown meat, 22lbs whole chickens & boneless chicken parts, & 4lbs pork sausages. All prohibited. pic.twitter.com/Ke78u6mQH9

.@CBP and @USFWSNortheast at Dulles airport encountered seahorses, snakes and snake oil, snail ointment, and prohibited pork products from travelers who arrived from Vietnam. #CBP and @USFWS partner to enforce wildlife protection laws. Read https://t.co/EZLCzzUt27 pic.twitter.com/Xy2wBBCJ35

Spicy Chicken and Waffles with Bourbon Syrup 😎 #waffle #foodie pic.twitter.com/54KFJ3dBeF

Bluefin tuna salad w smoked garlic cream sauce. Double toast. pic.twitter.com/P48eySKyos

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Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

Fall doesn’t begin until the leaves change color and start falling. And, a hoodie is needed at the outdoor fire pit in the evenings.

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